exploring the human experience... one day at a time...

it snowed in PDX and we welcomed it like locals...

2012-01-25T23:54:00.001-07:00

snow is fun when it doesn't happen every winter

this is amusing... especially when it was snowing

Excessive use of tear gas...

2012-01-12T10:42:00.001-07:00

My favorite part is "...I'm like, how am I going to trust a guy with a gun not kill me after I'm biting his ear."

version 1:

'It's go time:' Residents recount struggle with gunman during five-hour standoff Monday at Southeast Portland home

version 2:
Hostages during SERT action recount terrifying ordeal

if you feel compelled...

damn you butter!

2012-01-07T20:09:00.000-07:00

this is what inspired this edition of defacing emily: norwegian butter crisis escalates

yep...

2011-12-27T15:38:00.002-07:00

so this happened...

2011-12-06T13:24:00.000-07:00

Car 2 (screaming out the window whilst flailing her arms about): YOU CAN TURN RIGHT ON RED!

Car 1 (calmly and slightly confused replies): What?

Car 2: YOU CAN TURN RIGHT ON RED!

Car 1: But I'm turning left immediately so I'm sort of going straight. Should I not signal?

Car 2: OH... nevermind.

Us: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.... what the hell?

We call it a Pronunciation Fail...

2011-11-18T12:15:00.000-07:00

Here is our running list of failed product pronunciations. It's always quite amusing to read back an order with the correct name, but people never seem to catch on.

enough nonsense... Coffee Brewing Experimentation

2011-10-15T20:51:00.000-06:00

Toddy Cold-Brewed Coffee... a lot of people have no idea. I didn't. The word toddy meant booze to me. When it pertains to coffee, it's referring to the cold brew method. Cold brew coffee isn't just iced coffee, it's the method of brewing a concentrate that can be used to make a cup of hot or cold tasty beverage at your leisure. It tends to be a lot smoother and has less acidity than coffee brewed with the conventional method. Usually one uses a Toddy Brewer... looks like this:

I didn't want to buy one of these since I do most of my coffee drinking at work, so I use a coarse grind and my french press. It works out just dandy and it's incredibly simple. Here's a bit of a how to should you want to give it a go.

Start with your favorite coffee (dark roasts tend to be a bit tastier using this method, but anything works)
Using about one half times the amount of coffee, (so if you normally use 2tbsp, use 3) grind it at a coarse setting (basically how you would for your press anyway, maybe it bit more coarse)
Pour the grounds in the press and fill with cold water being sure to wet all of the grounds
Using the press, submerge the grounds that are floating to just under the water level
Let it sit for about 12 hrs (or longer depending on your taste... the longer it sits the more acidity and caffeine will be absorbed into the liquid, but never as much as hot water methods.)
Press the grounds down the rest of the way and strain the coffee into a glass jar
Refrigerate and use within 14 days

When you're ready for a cup use 1 part coffee concentrate to 3 parts hot or cold water, milk/cream or ice.

Easy peasy and conveniently delicious!

If you don't have a french press, use what you have. Soak some course grounds in a pot of cold water and strain with whatever works.

defacing emily... it's not going to stop

2011-10-10T22:07:00.002-06:00

yep... this happened.

spider emily... defacing continues

2011-09-14T12:36:00.001-06:00

the AC was broken... I was to blame

2011-09-13T16:32:00.001-06:00

Defacing Emily... it continues

2011-09-09T12:10:00.002-06:00

This was titled: When kittens watch too much Silence of the Lambs

it all began with this: my face in the hands of coworkers

My face in the hands of coworkers...

2011-08-23T16:55:00.000-06:00

So... I'm employee of the month and with that, my mug gets posted on the home page of our intranet at work.
see....

My crafty coworkers have made this into a sort of game... Defacing Emily: Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Feel free to play along. I'll post everything I get.

it began with this...

pirate emily

wizard emily

punk rock/balls on chin???

magical unicorn emily that likes to shimmer in the sun

i was out for a few days and clearly they missed me

and then there's this... this is just awesome!

Jockamo decided his fame must flourish!

2011-07-30T21:17:00.000-06:00

He promises frequent cute updates.

Holy Freaking Cute!

sometimes i think about the size of the internet and get really stressed out...

2011-07-24T16:46:00.000-06:00

... organization and consolidation is a very good thing.
Here are some blogs/tumblrs/amusing sites that I peruse during moments of boredom.

Diary Of A Geek
Doctor Who, Brits, and other geek stuff... I approve.

The Oatmeal
I laughed out loud whilst reading most of these comics... seriously.
Minor Differences all 3 parts is hilarious!

The Serpent Sapient
the girl's got taste... one of a few tumblr accounts that keep me occupied.

Mugsy Balone
another great collection of images that make me smile

Enjoy!

thanks for the cat butt mug.

2011-06-21T08:32:00.001-06:00

oh, i guess i forgot... HOW COULD I FORGET!?

2011-03-23T00:36:00.000-06:00

sorry about the crap quality... it's a mobile picture

So, last month, we went to Gang Of Four. It was incredible and I don't care if it was only Jon King and Andy Gill... it was still amazing! First some band called Hollerado played. I had never heard them before, but they were really good and had a lot of energy. It's rare that the opener is good, especially when I'm only going for the headliner, but these guys actually were. It's a bit poppy, but not pop isn't bad... just that word is or rather has become terrible since it is usually associated with the crap radio music being overly produced these days. Anyway, at one point in the show they kind of reminded me of the band in that movie "That Thing You Do," just faster and a little harder. Hollerado is by no means hard, but it does rock. So yeah, awesome way to start the show. Then Gang Of Four came on stage... finally. It felt like forever between bands. Of course Andy Gill strolls out carrying a glass of white wine. We were right up front on the edge of a middle-aged man pit. It was awesome because these dudes loved them from the start... I merely found out about them in the late 90s, but we both shared the energy and love for the band and bounced around like fools. A couple songs in and noise was coming from the stage... immediately my eyes got big and I turned to Trey, "I THINK THEY'RE ABOUT TO PLAY ANTHRAX!!" And then... the drums began. I squealed. I jumped. I grabbed people around me. I really didn't think they would play that song because, well... I don't know. Just didn't seem like they would. It's my favorite... did I mention that. Yeah, so Jon King was dancing about doing his sexy hip thrusting and Andy Gill was casually playing his guitar while doing the rock and roll intense crowd stare. Freaking awesome! The drummer, Mark Heaney was great and Thomas McNeice, the bassist, was pleasing to look at, but King and Gill stole the show... with every right. After the show, right outside the door, Nixon Boyd was like, hey wanna buy an album. So I did. They're good. Check them out.

again with the mobile pictures...

This month, we saw Patrimony. Trey set them up to play at the Eagles Lodge and we were shocked by their talent. Hearing them live is way better than their recorded stuff. They were playing another show at the Hawthorne Theater that following Friday, so we went. There were about 3 or 4 bands playing total. Patrimony went on first and rocked the place. There weren't many people there, but after they finished, there was hardly anyone sticking around.

We stayed for a terrible mid-life crisis band. They're called This, Not This. The music was blah... the vocals were annoying. At one point they tried to get the crowd to clap and the bassist and the guitar player were clapping at two different speeds, so yeah... that's how awesome they are. Oh, and the guitarist was wearing these killer sunglasses and we weren't sure why until the neck of his guitar lit up. It was blinding and torturous and then it changed from green to blue. Then there was the drummer with his cute little Britney Spears style headset mic. I felt bad for the other guitarist who seemed to be the only one that belongs in a band. I hate to be so negative, but honestly, this band shouldn't be playing shows like this. They would be perfect for weddings or small shindigs though.

Then a trio played and they were fun, but nothing special. No idea what they were called. We ended up leaving about 2 songs in because it was getting late. By this point there was hardly anyone left in the place.

It's Portland... you know, the hippie mecca

2011-03-01T17:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's not really a big secret that hippies of all shapes and sizes flock to Portland and if they didn't come here with their hippie ways, then they're soon embraced. Let's point out the obvious and not so obvious "You know you're a Portland Hippie if..." Then we'll all have a laugh and realize without any of this, Portland wouldn't be so lovable.

you have embraced Portland's hatred for motor vehicles
you don't own a microwave and have make it known every time you use the one in the break room
you have chickens or perhaps a goat in your backyard
you have given yourself a hippie/earthy name (and you're totally serious about it)
you roast coffee or yerba mate in your kitchen
working 40hr weeks (if you have a steady job) is bizarre and way too tiring. (haha, it happens to the best of us.)

Well, I'm sure I could go on, but I'll stop and leave you with this hilarious diagram I found.

Dear Camelbak: I love you and your outstanding customer service

2011-02-10T14:56:00.002-07:00

Just another reason why Camelbak is spectacular... I mean, besides their awesome products. 

ps. note the time they replied to me... and on a Friday!

get yourself one of these. they're perfect. 

From: Emily

Sent: Friday, January 14, 2011 4:23 PM
To: CamelBak Product Team
Subject: Better Bottle lid replacement

Hello,

I own one of the better bottles with the bite valve type top and love it! I've been a bit too rough with it and the one plastic peg on the side of the valve part cracked completely through. Now my bottle leaks which is really annoying because that was the main reason why I loved it so much.

I've been searching everywhere for a replacement lid, but can only find the plain older style. Is there a replacement for this or am I left with a broken bottle?

Thank you,
Emily

From: product@camelbak.com
To: emily
Subject: RE: Better Bottle lid replacement

Hello,

Thank you for contacting CamelBak. The defect you have encountered should not be expected from any of our products. We stand firmly behind the quality of all the products we make, and I apologize for this inconvenience. I'll be happy to send a replacement lid for you. Please keep your bitevalve and straw from your current lid though.

Thank you for choosing Camelbak

Liz
Customer Services
Camelbak Products, LLC
2000 S. McDowell Blvd., Suite 200
Petaluma, CA 94954

http://www.camelbak.com/customer-service/got-your-bak.aspx

For International and Canadian warranty and questions, please contact internationalwarranty@camelbak.com

junk post... but i must

2011-02-04T16:38:00.000-07:00

don't these look enticing? 

they're the new Dunkin' Donuts cocoa donuts. 

ok. that is all. if you're near a Dunkin' Donuts, tell me how they are.  

to hell with poverty... we'll get drunk on cheap wine

2011-01-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

enjoy... 

goes well with a jamba...

2011-01-17T15:41:00.000-07:00

i found this chick today and it's rare that photographers blow me away anymore, but woah... her work is awesome and a bonus, her website design is too.

go ahead... see for yourself. 

Darla Teagarden

3 shows, 3 nights, 3 completely different genres... all fantastic

2010-12-09T11:35:00.001-07:00

Started off with a zydeco/blues band called The New Iberians. These guys are fun of spunky talent. They immediately had the crowd out of their chairs and scooting around the dance floor. Even people just walking around the room, perhaps on their way to use the toilet, couldn't help themselves. Everyone seemed to have a getup in their step and for those who chose to keep seated... it was chair dancing central. Zydeco music seems to have a living spirit within it and The New Iberians definitely evoke that spirit. I'm stoked to see these guys again. They've agreed to play once a month at our eagles lodge. Awesome! Everyone is stoked about this.

picture from http://newiberians.com

Next up was Bedouin Soundclash. I've been listening to these dudes for about two years now and never really thought I would get a chance to see them live. Then one day we drive by the venue and the marqee says bedouin... could it be? Oh, it was. We shook hands with Jay Malinowski, the front man, outside before the show and told him how stoked we were about seeing them perform.  Turned out to be the first two in the the place so we chatted with their incredibly friendly merch dude, Sam, while waiting for things to start and then had a energy filled, sweaty good time. First up was Money Brother, a Swedish band that has a lot of good energy. I'm definitely following up and checking out more of their stuff online. Then BSC played. We were so close that I got a bit of spit on me while Jay was belting out tunes. Gross, but not as gross as intentionally being spit on. After the show, Trey snagged the set list and we met the drummer, Sekou Lumumba, outside of their bus. He had everyone sign it for us (awesome!). What a great group of friendly Canadians. Their music is quite unique and puts a warm feeling in your body. I highly suggest you check them out if you haven't already.
 

phone photo by me

Finally, the amazing Bela Fleck and The Flecktones with the Alash Ensemble. WOW! Bela Fleck is incredible. Victor Wooten has just tied as a favorite bassist (Les Claypool is the other). Jeff Coffin, great. Futureman, fantastic. Alash blew me away with their throat singing version of Jingle Bells. They played with the Portland Symphony and well, I'm sure the symphony is great, but they just seemed in the way here. This venue, the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, was quite the place. Very beautiful architecture and huge auditorium, but as far as their ushers and policies... terrible. Nothing was posted or advertised stating that taking pictures is not allowed so we brought the camera. Trey began taking pictures, a couple accidental with the flash, and was immediately told to put the camera away. This happened twice because I said it was probably just the flash and as long as we didn't use it, what's the big deal. Then during intermission, the old butler looking usher came over to Trey and explained in a very authoritative way that it was not the appropriate environment for using a camera and it was rude to the people behind us. Trey politely apologized, said he understood, and it wouldn't happen again then extended his arm to shake the man's hand. The man looked at Trey's hand and immediately turned and began walking away. Trey said something like, "oh, you're not going to shake my hand? Brilliant." The man turned and replied, "I'm not allowed sir." What the hell? Snooty old poof. Anyway, yeah, it was an amazing show, but I will never be returning to that venue. When I pay ridiculous prices for a concert, I expect to be treated as a wanted guest, not an annoyance.  Here's one of the terrible pictures we got.  Anyway, check out Bela Fleck and The Flecktones and Alash Ensemble. You won't be disappointed. 

crap photo... trey tried, but got yelled at 3 times from the usher

get a haircut, hippie!

2010-11-28T15:59:00.000-07:00

sometimes i decide i need a new haircut so i go exploring online. i have never actually found anything i liked from doing this, but it is always amusing.

exhibit a:

exhibit b:

exhibit c:

exhibit d:

FOOD! This city has a plethora...

2010-11-07T13:42:00.000-07:00

I have a new favorite... it's called Bete-Lukas and it's Ethiopian cuisine. Freaking delicious! I had no idea because honestly, yeah, I'll admit... I'm not very knowledgeable when it comes to other cultures, but I'm growing. When I saw Ethiopian restaurants in the past, all I thought of was Starving Marvin from South Park. So naturally, I was quite confused about the food. How could delicious food possibly come from a world of Starving Marvins? Well, it was a good thing I stopped being such a retard and decided to open my mind and explore.
The owner and his wife were altering servers throughout our meal and both quite helpful for us newbies. They explained what things were, how to eat, and made great recommendations. Then when the meal was over, we figured this wasn't really the type of food you can take home, but no, we were wrong. We were told it was great to throw it all in a skillet and cook it up like scrabbled eggs. Awesome! Yeah, I'm one of those rare people that loves leftovers. Our bill was a bit pricey for only two people, but we ordered two sample platters, an appetizer, and had wine, so actually it was rather inexpensive for the gluttonous amount of food we ate.
If you're in the Portland area, definitely check this place out. Food full of incredible flavor, friendly and genuinely good people, and a cozy atmosphere.
And if you're not in Portland, at least go out and try some Ethiopian food. It's a nice surprise.

obvious foggot...

2010-10-10T15:19:00.000-06:00

I've probably mentioned this before, but it's worth another mention.

This dude messes with people and it's quite entertaining.

Here's a recent post: 27bslash6.com

It's something amusing to read when you're bored.

local amusement... part one

2010-10-01T13:20:00.000-06:00

the high school behind us regularly blast Eye of the Tiger from their PA system. it amuses me every time.
what is with the bubbling water fountains...
fresh produce and herbs... everywhere! in our yard, in the neighbors yard...
random finds like this...

arcades!!! and nickel arcades!!!

oh craigslist...

2010-09-16T17:11:00.000-06:00

my day is filled with amusement...

moving for nothing... weeee

2010-09-11T22:16:00.000-06:00

it's funny how not many people are actually from portland yet the one question that keeps coming up is, "why did you move here?" oh and it's always asked in a snobbish manner.

why the hell not, i've started to answer. i mean, at first, i would say for fun and i've wanted to move here for years. i've always been drawn here, even before i visited. after i visited, i was kind of unsure (because of the whole hipster thing... that really is a huge turn-off, douche bags).

anyway, it just seems like people have become so freaking negative. even before we moved people were very negative about it. why would you move in such a bad economy and to the one of the worst cities, economically speaking... do you have a job... where will you live... how will you afford it. geez people. what the hell? quit stressing, it's not your life.

ah, again, i digress. that question, why did you move here... it's funny because why does any move have to have a reason other than you want to. what happened to actually enjoying life rather than being a slave to your work and letting it control what you do and where you go? it makes me really sad to see so many people too scared to live their life. i completely understand that you need to have a job in order to have money so that you can do a lot of fun stuff (not always, but usually). this doesn't mean your job has to be MASTER CONTROLLER of your life.

this said... i need a job, but i'll be ok. i've done this before.

ps. i use to ask people why they moved to Casper, but that was completely different. unless you're in the oil field or have family there, really, what other purpose does one have to move there? it's a totally random city to move to... i was merely curious.

sharing.... it's kind of like caring

2010-07-01T21:46:00.000-06:00

found out about this site from ~~a stranger~~ william guice on twitter. what a fine concept. sharing with your neighbors. if only more people would be into this (there is no one within 50 miles of 82601 involved).

here's another fantastic idea. unfortunately, i only buy books that i actually want to keep and all the rest... well that's what the library is for. still a cool idea.

anyway... it's quite elementary. sharing. we learn it as youngsters and lose it somewhere along the way. it's a bit sad.

...because asians are the coolest of the cool... yet again

2010-06-19T14:50:00.001-06:00

found this at Nerdcore

They were shared with me, now I'm sharing with you...

2010-04-25T16:26:00.000-06:00

I've been trying to figure out what to write about these pages that I would like to share, but it's better if you just check them out for yourself.

Free books for you to read, save, download...

And for those in love, with love problems, interested in love, would like to learn about love... ok, so everyone should just read this (a condensed version of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman)
Also, check out the book. It's a quick, good, and useful read.

the 5 love languages and you

wasting coffee is just rude

2010-04-24T17:55:00.000-06:00

We often have about half a pot of coffee left over and heating it up the next day is always a bummer because fresh coffee is just better and pouring it down the drain feels so wasteful.
I've decided to start making iced mocha with it. That way it doesn't get wasted and it's perfect for warm, sunny days.

It's rather simple and can be altered depending on your palette.
Here's what you do. Pour leftover coffee into a container and add:

powdered creamer
cocoa powder
sugar
and if you want add some chocolate syrup
stir until mixed well
add lots of ice and store in refrigerator

It's quite tasty. Enjoy.

Sky Mall... you are so silly

2010-04-14T20:13:00.000-06:00

a few of my favorites from Sky Mall

sperm shoes

to help your migraine, just scare people away

the cat seems to be saying, WTF

this either looks dangerous or dirty...

fancy

i actually want to try this

now you can play out your droid fantasy

eventually i'll post something with substance... for now enjoy another video

2010-04-13T21:56:00.000-06:00

oh geez...

How To Smoke Smarties - More free videos are here

figures...

asians are the coolest of the cool...

2010-03-28T21:46:00.000-06:00

whatever you do... don't participate

2010-03-22T19:17:00.002-06:00

so recently i became aware of a site called chatroulette.com from one of the blogs that i follow, so of course (me being overly curious) i checked it out.
basically, it's randomly video chatting with people around the world... i'm not really sure of the purpose and when it starts out you have to click on a button that says 'new game' not sure if you're suppose to play a game or what, but here are some of our screen shots from playing with chat roulette. the community there is mostly made up of pervs. way too many dudes are entirely too comfortable wanking it while a stranger watches (the naked pict below was the least offensive of the many that i captured). the other, maybe 15%, are decent people and actually friendly and want to merely chat.

i learned that a lot of people will wear dark glasses, masks, bandanas.. i guess to conceal their identity, but when i wore masks or glasses, it just seemed more fun.

i guess there are some popular characters on CR as well...

check out this video from youtube.com

Piano man

so anyway... it's been very odd playing around on chat roulette. it's kind of addicting, but i think that's just because i'm quite the voyeur. other than that... seems like a big W O T. (that's waste of time for those who don't watch Home Movies on a daily basis)

pure awesome... from me to you

2010-03-08T21:57:00.000-07:00

First things first... Music you should probably check out.

Now that is out of the way, time to pimp some amazing ladies.
Below are some of their product that I own, but definitely check out their etsy pages for more awesomeness. (also, excuse the crappy point-and-shoot product shots)

jodypham.etsy.com

angelcity.etsy.com & serpentes.etsy.com

aprildd.etsy.com

I really like this quote. It was posted on quitecheekygirl.blogspot.com but it doesn't say who actually said it. anyway.

There is no reality except the one contained within us. That is why so many people live such an unreal life. They take the images outside themselves for reality and never allow the world within to assert itself.

To shine is better than to reflect.

oh and a bit of an FYI, if you're interested in the blogs i follow (actually just the stuff i find worthy of being shared because it's so dang cool) you can go here http://www.google.com/reader/shared/00975152320585653872

(gosh that's long)

hello ladies...and sirs

2010-02-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

a friend sent me this mix that his friends made... enjoy!

click image to download.

tracklisting for the mix is as follows:

Bob Dylan- Wigwam

*Charlie Brown*

Stevie Wonder-Hey Love

The Superlatives- I Don't Know How To Say (I Love You)

Alvin Robinson- Something You Got

The Coasters- Down Home Girl

*Queen To Be*

Willie Hutch- I Choose You

Brothers of Soul- A Lifetime

Al Green- Love is a Beautiful Thing

New Holidays- Maybe So, Maybe No

Ruby Andrews- You Made A Believer (Out Of Me)

*Superbad*

Dorando- Didn't I

Nelson Sanders- I'm So Lonely

Betty Harris- Nearer To You

Lee Fields and the Expressions- Do You Love Me (Like You Say You Do)

The Quantrells- Can't Let You Break My Heart

a gift to you... celebrate the month of love and stuff...

2010-02-01T00:00:00.003-07:00

click the image to download the valentines mix tape

shameless promotion never hurt anyone...

2010-01-27T19:38:00.005-07:00

april d*esigns

check her out... etsy.com/shop/aprildd

Newbs...

2010-01-25T22:13:00.001-07:00

I've discovered some new music recently.
First... Say Hi previously known as Say Hi To Your Mom
It's a rather chill sound with great vocals.

Then, there's Art Brut
They are... well. It's a brit pop band that sounds interesting and fun, but then you really listen to the lyrics and it's bad news. The worst part is that I'm pretty sure they mean to be really serious about the lyrics and it's just not working out. They are definitely worth checking out though.

So Geico is awesome and has silly ringtones available to download for free. Hilarious. Check it... Ringa di ding ding a dong

also... text Haiti to 90999 and donate $10. It's simple and are you really going to notice $10 on your next phone bill?

2009: a look back at a conveniently fucked up year

2009-12-30T20:33:00.000-07:00

we had the worst zombie love ball/party ever. some weren't dressed up. no one was drinking except me april and trey. april and trey successfully got drunk. i became the babysitter. trey got mostly naked, caught himself on fire, puked in the bush and passed out with his head in the trash. april played way too much beer pong, partially undressed and i left her sitting on the toilet holding a bucket. wait, we had a great party with a shitty crowd. high five.
Watchmen was awesome! trey and i went to two showing in one day because we're hardcore like that.
trey turned 30. april and i made him a top that said '30 flirty and fun'
april got out of casper so we had a party. it was fantastic. i spent a lot of time getting some chick drunk, april mingled, and trey played beer pong. good turnout. too much booze.
oh, 4th of july. april decided we would drink tequila. i started with jeremiah weed. then moved on to the tequila. then back to regular vodka. we went through 1 3/4 bottles. april ended up in north casper. we found her downtown trying to walk home. it was a crazy night.

those are the highlights. looking forward to new and distinguished memories in the year to come.

in the mean time...

i like this stuff:

tea bags

taxidermy art

fantastic cakes

i love Dunkin Donuts!!!

2009-11-05T11:59:00.002-07:00

This was in my e-mail today... those bastards! Teasing me with their tasty treats and of course the closest location in several states away. If you don't know, you should ---> Dunkin Donuts

now hear this...

2009-10-26T19:00:00.003-06:00

muzik - oct 2009

the japanese are silly...

2009-10-11T18:25:00.002-06:00

housemate horrors...

2009-10-11T17:28:00.005-06:00

recently we had a couple from oregon move into our spare room. they appeared normal, friendly, and rather chill. over the 3 weeks they occupied our home, they went from being friendly and peaceful to disruptive lunatics. there was extreme immature behavior that we dealt with and even had a chance to secretly catch on video (that i would love to post, but won't for legal purposes. if you're interested let me know). i could go into detail about our long 3 weeks with these two, but i really don't feel like wasting my time.

instead i'll share with you a response we had to our ad searching for a new housemate.

this is real and quite amusing. we all had a good laugh at "am not a gay"

Hello,

I saw your ad on craigslist,and i am interested,i
would like you to know,i am a Godfearing
man,honest,straightforward and outgoing,am not
a gay,i am single,but i have a 13 year old
daughter If you need some of my photos,i can send them
to you,so you would have an idea on the person
you are dealing with,more so,i will like to know
more about this apartment,so i will take all you
tell me in good faith,hoping they are the truth..
Get back to me,if you would like to have me as a
tenant,or a rommie.

Have a nice time

Frank*

*name has been changed

this whole housemate search is becoming very tiresome. especially with all the crazy people we appear to be attracting.

one day my house will have awesome wallpaper like this...

2009-08-01T10:33:00.003-06:00

http://www.beware-the-moon.com/

also... i hold a strange level of respect for a man that wears a bow-tie.

sharing is caring...

2009-07-25T18:45:00.003-06:00

This man is a genius. What he does may seem rather annoying and rude, but really he's just having fun and when it comes down to it, that is what life is all about.

check out his shenanigans here: to enter click the 27b/6

a few of my favorites are:

Strata Agreement

Party in Apartment 3

Overdue Account

2 notices within the month...

2009-06-20T12:43:00.004-06:00

On June 6th, we received this...

and on June 20th we got this.

beware of pervs

check out this site to see who is perving near you: Family Watchdog

an afternoon with Nine Inch Nails...

2009-05-28T17:33:00.008-06:00

26MAY2009 - Englewood, CO

NIN/JA Tour

The strangest NIN show ever.

Street Sweeper Social Club played for about 30min. Then NIN played for about 1hr 30min. Then Jane's Addiction played for about 1hr.

The sun didn't go down until Jane's Addiction played.

The crowd was not a NIN crowd.

There was a five year old girl that thought Trent Reznor was Jesus.

Little girl, bottom left...

Trent wore purple leather pants...

and the show was actually boring...

Dear Trent Reznor,

Please never tour with Jane's Addiction or any other band with a large following. Their fans aren't fun like the NIN'ers. Also, make a note... the only acceptable time to play outside in Colorado is July or August. You should know this by now, or did you already forget that you froze you balls off in Sept. 2008 at Red Rocks. Oh, and we appreciate the visuals that go with your shows, so please play in the dark and calm it with the fog machine... poor drummer boy was hidden most of the show.

Thank you,

Emily

semi-nerd stuff...

2009-05-09T09:14:00.001-06:00

for the book people

for the trekkies...

yes... that's trey.

some valuable lessons i learned as a photography assistant:

2009-04-04T13:58:00.003-06:00

always carry a sharpie. (eric always said, "a good assistant always carries a sharpie" and he was right. it's surprising how often one is needed.)
how to properly wind a cord. (over, under, over, under...)
anticipate ones needs (by doing this you become more useful to those around you)
it's difficult to read ones mind when they focus too much on one thing (naked lesbian pool party)
you will never have to buy groceries if you are willing to eat left overs (especially large amounts of one item such as a giant bag of Sonic chicken fingers or 30 packs of King's Hawaiian rolls.)
working for free will not always get you paid work, but you might have fun and will be fed for the day.
most of the people you meet on a set are not your friends. they are merely connections.
never walk into an office and immediately look at the television. you never know what you might see and some people don't mind watching their porn at work.
don't break stuff!

I'm sure there are many more, but these were the few that really stuck with me. Either because there was some sort of shock value (like walking into an office with porn on the television) or it was actually useful elsewhere, not just on set.

basically awesome stuff that i felt was share worthy...

2009-03-29T12:58:00.005-06:00

steampunk spock. absolutely gorgeous.

vix: i saw this and thought of you

the birth of a peep

rady: i saw this and thought of you

ikea means cool in swedish

trey: i saw this and thought of you

everyday superheroes

gaby: i saw this and thought of you

awesomely fun business card

most of these were found on notcot.org

our toilet needs instructions... here they are

2009-03-16T13:04:00.002-06:00

put the lid down before pressing the flush lever. if you don't, the toilet may spit dirty water at you.
after beginning the flush, lift the lid immediately to make sure the water level is not rising to dangerous levels.
if the water does begin to rise, plunge immediately.
if plunging was necessary, make sure to wipe any toilet water off of the seat so that others do not sit in it.
after checking the water level (and possibly plunging), put the lid back down. if you don't the flush lever will get stuck and the toilet will not stop flushing.
if you had a bowel movement and noticed a bit painted on the side of the bowl, please use the toilet brush to wipe it away.

thank you for following instructions whilst using our toilet.

i hope your visit is successful!

the night of beer pong with strangers

2009-03-01T17:16:00.004-07:00

so at first i began writing a rebuttal to this story because i was annoyed, but then i just got bored and figured i would just share the story with you because it's rather humorous even though it's ridiculously exaggerated.

so first read this: nothing but lies

then come back here and read the facts (btw i'm only concerned with the parts about the "one-legged woman and her party")

it wasn't a party. we were going to play beer pong and decided to invite some friends over.
it wasn't the middle of the night, it was 8pm
there were 10 rolls of tp
stealing tp is not the only reason to road trip, but it is something that is done on all road trips
of course we didn't find it odd for strangers to wander in. we were aware they were coming and we always welcome strangers.
trey and i both made sure to introduce ourselves.
there are only two mannequin heads, three wigs, no post-it notes, a copy machine in the dinning area, and no cigarette machine.
i am not blond and i might pass for a librarian, but a lunch lady? i don't think so.
trey is not portly and yes he notices what people are wearing... big deal.
of course we didn't say anything about his obnoxious attention seeking hat that he kept on all night.
trey actually laughed at the dwarf joke. he takes things like that very well.
trey never did calisthenics and i never offered anyone food. april did eat some spaghetti and probably offered some to the guests because that is the polite thing to do, but no one wandered around with a colander.
you don't need to use the plunger if you use the bathroom.

yeah, so anyway. we actually thought these people were kinda fun. perhaps we were wrong.

just incase...

2009-02-24T13:45:00.004-07:00

this awesome chick i know took this. she's called kim. there is a table and chair out there near the tree. the tree is in the middle of nowhere. i love that someone dragged them there and i love that tree. things like this amuse me.

also...

Emergency Yodel Button

tasty...

2009-02-05T16:06:00.005-07:00

ehphotographer.com + bacon = delicious!

add bacon to any page you like...

check it http://bacolicio.us/

today's animal adventure...

2009-01-26T19:50:00.005-07:00

So we found another mouse in our house. Actually, April saw her a few nights ago. Francis, the mouse, popped out from under the couch, looked around then ran. I set the humane traps in the kitchen and we've been waiting. Well, last night April and I were hanging out in the living room and she heard the weird trap noise. A bit freaked, she was like, "what is that?" Immediately I knew, so I made Trey empty the trap into our spare trash can that I used last time to hold Albert until we were able to release him far away from our home. Anyway, after we had a chance to view the new mouse, we determined that it was not Francis. This was Napoleon, friend of Francis. (that's peanut butter on his back, from the trap)

So, I put some cheese balls in the trash can as a snack for Napoleon so that he didn't go hungry during the night. Mice love cheese balls.

As we were driving to the mountain to release Napoleon, we came across some deer. Of course we had to stop and say hello. It would have been rude not to, so here are a some pictures of our ~~dear~~ deer friends. (trey took all of the pictures except the two with me)

take the tour...

2009-01-23T21:20:00.002-07:00

Here it is... finally. Scary Larry's basement apartment. Unfortunately, we didn't get the video before the destruction started, but you get the idea. Our landlord is making it a two bedroom apartment and doing a bit of remodeling since it's really dated and rather disgusting. We've been helping out because it's fun to rip down walls and tear up carpet.

ps. i'm just beginning to learn video stuff, so the smallness is due to me not knowing how to save it properly so that it is a decent viewable size but doesn't take forever to load...sorry

it is officially official

2009-01-16T10:13:00.001-07:00

Scary Larry has moved away!!!

that is all for now.

coming soon: a video of his apartment

True Tales of Scary Larry

2008-12-20T19:00:00.004-07:00

Our home came with a one bedroom apartment in the basement. There is a completely different entrance but there is also access to this apartment from the basement. This apartment came with a tenant. His name is Larry Wadosky. Let me tell you a little about Scary Larry.

First encounter: Trey and I were admiring our new home one day before we were actually moved in and we decided to go introduce ourselves to our basement neighbor. He seemed nice. A bit off, but friendly.

Second encounter: Again Trey and I were at the new place one evening moving some things in and doing a bit of unpacking. It wasn't too late. Maybe about 9 or 10 at night. We weren't even being loud by any means and suddenly from the back stairwell we hear Scary Larry screaming up the stairs at us. Saying things like "shut the fuck up" and "why don't you just go home." Completely shocked and a bit frightened, Trey and I gathered ourselves and left immediately.

Third encounter: The night we officially moved in we were up until about midnight doing nothing other than watching tv and relaxing after the hectic day we all had. The next day Trey spoke with our landlord and he mentioned that Scary Larry called him and said we were loud and up all hours of the night and he was moving. We apologized, but the landlord said this wasn't necessary and this is just how Larry acts. We were extremely excited that only after one night, we were going to be rid of Scary Larry. But we later learned that this was not going to happen that easy.

In the short time we have lived here (since 31OCT08) Scary Larry has:

Given us rules - no laundry after 7pm (but he told april 6pm and Trey 6pm)
Flipped out at Trey for parking his car in our half of the garage.
Told us to keep our heat down because the furnace clicking on annoys him.
Flipped out (screaming, banging on the floor/his ceiling, banging on our back door) for our music turned on to a reasonable level and during the day.
Screamed at Trey (and woke up April and I) for using the dryer at 7am
Screamed at us for walking around

There are probably more incidents, but I feel I'm getting my point across and hopefully by this point you understand why we refer to him as Scary Larry.

Just recently Scary Larry gave Trey a typed, full page note. This is what it said exactly as it was printed:

Traay, Julie & April.

I would appreciate it if you would please kick the snow off your feet coming up the steps onto the porch and not stomping on the front porch.

Thank You

We all had a good laugh at the spelling of Trey and the fact that he thinks my name is Julie. Trey mentioned the other day that when he called our landlord (for an incident I will explain next) he was probably complaining about Julie and our landlord was probably thinking "who is Julie... Larry's nutty."

Okay, now for the explanation as to why Larry called the landlord yet again. I was doing laundry the other evening and it was getting close to 7pm. All I had left was about 20 minutes of drying to do, but as I listened for the dryer from the top of the stairs I noticed it wasn't running. I went down and turned it back on because my clothes were still damp. Then I left the door to the basement open so that I could hear if Scary Larry came out of his apartment to turn the dryer off again. Well, no more than 10 minutes later there's Scary Larry at the bottom of the stairs screaming at me saying it's too late to be doing laundry. I told him that our landlord informed us that we can do laundry anytime we need to and that he should calm down. Scary Larry didn't believe our landlord told us this and said he was calm and then went back into his apartment and slammed his door. As I was removing my laundry from the dryer I said I would appreciate if he wouldn't touch my laundry. His door swung open and like a 5 year old child he said "I didn't touch your laundry." I said, "Well, the dryer didn't turn itself off and he has no right to make rules. We pay our rent to the landlord not him, so therefore we are going to listen to what the landlord tells us what we can do, not him and if he has a problem he should call the landlord." Well, that really set him off. He yelled, "I will" then slammed his door and added, "you bitch." And that was that. We never hear from the landlord about things like this because he feels the same as we do. He wants Larry gone, but apparently he came with the purchase of the house. The agreement stated that Larry would be allowed to continue living here for 90 days with the same amount of rent. The landlord mentioned that is coming to an end soon.

So anyway... Living above Scary Larry is quite entertaining. I'm sure I will have more stories to tell soon.

ps. I was searching the internet for a picture of Scary Larry and found a few other links that I believe are Larry's doing so I will add those for your amusement.

Wyomedia Corporation

Dear KWYF Channel 26

You aired South Park at 10 Pm the 24th and the content of the cartune was promoting homosexuality and was promoting the nabmla which is utterly vile, morbid atrocious ghastly and abominable. I will tell all my friends at church to stop watching channel 26 because its promiting homosexuality. Larry Wadosky

Larry needs to (a) put on his spell check and (b) double-check his address book.

Found here:

http://bjaodn.nicholaswwilson.com/wiki/And_now_for_something_completely_different..._Bad_Jokes_and_Other_Deleted_Nonsense

President William Jefferson Clinton

He was and is an utter disgrace to the predency. Seeking votes from homosexuals is abominable, vile and morbid. Vetoeing the partial birth abortion bill is utterly incomprehensible, wretched and atrocious. He's an out right lier and a filthy stinkin crook.

Posted by: Larry Wadosky | Dec 12, 2006 4:37:38 PM

Found here:

http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2006/12/bush_ranks_last.html

finally... it's what you've all been waiting for... right

2008-12-13T20:08:00.016-07:00

One day at work I realized I had way too much free time and was paying way too much attention to my surroundings, so I began documenting. Most of this was sent via text to my friend April and the rest was sent via text to my personal email or to Twitter. This is how it went down...

I think I’m going to start writing about my day at work...

Confessions at the Star

I should probably start with a little intro to familiarize you, the reader, with the characters documented in this journal. To keep identities confidential I can only describe their appearance, if necessary, and explain why they have the nickname assigned to them.

Applesauce: because he’s the boss, applesauce.

Bowtie guy: this guy wears bowties... A LOT and some very interesting clothing choices.

Guy that sits in front of me: rather obvious...he sat in front of me until they moved my desk.

Loud girl: She always talks really loud. Even from across the office I can hear the entire conversation, well, at least her part of the conversation.

New guy: the guy that now sits where Guy that sits in front of me use to sit.

Slow walker: never in my life have I seen anyone walk as slow as this man

THG: tall hot guy

Tiny guy/Fuju: he’s very short. Hobbit short. As for the Fuju part...well I’m not anti-jew but sometimes when I dislike someone for absolutely no logical reason, I pick out an obvious feature about them and that’s how I refer to them... Fuju is short for fucking jew. I don’t hate jews or any particular group of people. I do hate individual people for individual reasons. I do not hate Fuju. He just happen to be extremely annoying and fucking jew just popped into my head every time he annoyed me. I know I’m a horrible person...get over it.

Whispy: this guy has whispy hair

Red wagon: also know as red rooster, red lobster, or basically anything with red in front of it. He has red hair and it gets out of control.

There are a few other people that are mentioned once or twice but are not interesting enough to have a description.

I should also add that a lot of my time was spent not only in the office, but on the road, in hotels, and in the strange towns of southern Wyoming. Occasionally I was up in the middle of the night doing paper routes. Also, time employed at this newspaper was from July 2007 until June 2008. Hopefully after reading this, you will understand why I felt the time I was spending there was a complete waste of my life, but I did have a lot of fun and even miss it... but only a little.

Tuesday, 09OCT07

08:25am thg shreds some critical evidence

10:08am csr group gossips about side bundling

10:27am weirdo photographer appears to be starring at me from across the office

11:06am thg assigned the maintenance guy to shred his secrets

11:39am 3 guys have a conversation about using tasers in everyday life...in front of my desk

03:49pm i have a hunch that mike hates me

Friday, 12OCT07

11:47am u know how homeless people smell... that’s how mr. lee smells

12:46pm thg lurks around my desk trying to figure out who to give some magazines to

Monday, 15OCT07

10:21am applesauce nearly drove us off the road

Tuesday, 16OCT07

10:08pm he went in too fast then too hard...dirty guy

10:10pm omg just found a dryer sheet in my bed...at least i know it’s clean

Wednesday, 17OCT07

11:34am passing james lake...thinking of james

03:21pm almost hit a cow

Friday, 19OCT07

09:24am tiny guy announces to guy that sits in front of me that he just bought that top and they’ll have to coordinate...

Sunday, 28OCT07

12:49am blew a tire about 8 miles south of casper on I-25

02:22am saw a boy in lederhosen... missing germany hardcore

Tuesday, 30OCT07

11:44am applesauce gets pulled over for speeding

12:41pm look familiar

Thursday, 01NOV07

01:51pm fuju (previously referred to as tiny guy) is called a fucking asshole by a reader

Thursday, 08NOV07

10:57am i have no idea what whispy is talking about

03:05pm slow walker makes a five minute pass by my desk

Friday, 09NOV07

09:13am everyone could use a double shot of vodka

01:11pm i was verbally assaulted by someones voicemail

02:47pm whispy fake ran into my desk

Wednesday, 14NOV07

08:36am being on the road means pie and a black cow for breakfast

Monday, 19NOV07

09:46am spent the last 20 min ripping my pockets open

Monday, 26NOV07

11:17am i just saw santa driving a pick up truck

01:00pm thinking about a cigarette and a beer

02:50pm i really have the urge to throw a pen at the new loud girl across the office...no one cares what kind of music u like!

04:00pm another weird encounter with whispy

ps. shut up applesauce

Wednesday, 28NOV07

05:09pm oilfield christian fellowship of houston book found in my room.

Thursday, 29NOV07

09:43am and on the third day i had to stop and ask myself wwjd

Sunday, 02DEC07

02:03pm whispy asks questions about my box and by box i mean vehicle

Monday, 03DEC07

03:03pm thg pass number 8 today

Tuesday, 04DEC07

08:21am what chu gonna do with all that ass all that ass inside them jeans

08:58am murdered a tiny bird

Thursday, 06DEC07

10:41pm the strange animals of fort laramie

Friday, 07DEC07

12:09pm too many secrets

12:18pm sky rockets in flight...a little afternoon delight...if u know what i mean

Monday, 10DEC07

08:29am i have no idea what I’m going to do all day

03:25pm the urine odor is making it’s way toward my desk... no idea where it’s coming from

Tuesday, 11DEC07

08:00am carrier shares with me that she has to run home to use the bathroom and deal with female issues... that’s when i ended the phone call

Woah! 10:54am thg just took a 20min dookie

11:02am whispy got a haircut

11:19am apparently fuju is whispy’s snuggle bunny

Wednesday, 12DEC07

04:57pm fuju asks what if aliens showed up in casper tomorrow

Thursday, 13DEC07

04:20pm thg totally has the model walk down

Friday, 14DEC07

01:09pm i feel dumber after hearing loud girl say he has glasses. the kind for ur eyes that u put on to read.

01:41pm slow walker gives me a look that says the slower i walk the less work i have to do

02:32pm my new car is here!

Tuesday, 18DEC07

12:27pm was just ganged up on and questioned about the new ride. Applesauce walked by and told them to leave me alone... it’s like school... and I’m too cool or something.

01:15pm got my new laptop. let the dirty looks fly... whatev

Wednesday, 19DEC07

02:20pm fuju is having an exciting day...

Friday, 21DEC07

11:48am just realized design guy is wearing mom jeans...boy style...

01:07pm i feel like everyone knows I’m listening to avril at work

Monday, 31DEC07

03:43pm about to vomit from the potent ham and bean odor

Wednesday, 02JAN08

10:17am thg in a purple shirt... yeah... and potty break so early. must be drinking a bunch of coffee after that late night.

Thursday, 03JAN08

08:51am farted in the supply closet. smelled so horrible that I’m pretty sure that’s why that bastard moved away from his desk which is right next to the room. ha ha

09:04am battle with the bathroom air freshener continues. this is the third hit but I’m not down yet.

07:47am witnessed guys on horses herd some cattle across a bi-way

04:51pm pretty sure thg is freaked out by me... or has social issues

05:38pm omg! green spandex... don’t these people own a mirror

Friday, 04JAN08

04:52pm ha ha red wagon has red chucks... bowtie guy has yellow chucks. I’m wearing my black chucks...must be a chuck day

Tuesday, 08JAN08

02:35pm that’s right... I’m making tea while driving.

(PICTURE MISSING)

Wednesday, 09JAN08

09:08am didn’t know they still made stirrup pants

Thursday, 10JAN08

02:17pm emily 1 bathroom air freshener 3

Friday, 11JAN08

04:13pm a bunch of emo kids flip me off

Wednesday, 16JAN08

11:50am why did u grow a beard?

02:18pm THG walks with fists

Friday, 18JAN08

11:52am i have a hunch that something is going on between applesauce and business guy

04:26pm realizing how behind the times these people are

Monday, 21JAN08

01:19pm make-up girl just spent 20 min getting pretty

Monday, 28JAN08

08:10am some new guy is sitting in front slash to the side of me

Tuesday, 29JAN08

05:09pm still weirded out by the lunch new guy and some weird girl had at his desk

Thursday, 31JAN08

03:47pm i think applesauce just said tripping balls

Friday, 01FEB08

10:25am i set up playboy radio in the company vehicle

Friday, 08FEB08

10:29am coasted into gillette on an empty tank

Tuesday, 12FEB08

02:46pm red wagon appears to have gained a little weight

Wednesday, 13FEB08

01:35pm omg loud girl is back

Friday, 15FEB08

11:43am just got the weirdest look for talking on my pink phone

01:03pm someone is singing... take a look at me now... uh phil collins?

02:23pm I’m tasting the rainbow

Monday, 18FEB08

04:27pm applesauce got us stuck in a snow drift and said he would kill me if i put this in my book... ha ha ha

Wednesday, 20FEB08

09:53am omg i can’t see!

Friday, 07MAR08

03:22pm smiley face balloon is starring at me from across the office

Monday, 10MAR08

01:25pm i inappropriately burst into laughter at the site of two customers in the atrium

08:26pm I’m in cheyenne and there is food in the fridge...eww...

Friday, 21MAR08

08:37am I'm secretly informed that someone working here was convicted of homicide by vehicle

Tuesday, 08APR08

02:02pm talking about constipation way too loud

Monday, 14APR08

04:40pm listening to applesauce expel weird noises from his office while waiting for the time to pass

Monday, 12MAY08

11:49am i think i might give my 2 weeks today

Monday, 12MAY08

05:28pm i was given a 20% raise today... oh ad i gave my notice

Tuesday, 13MAY08

02:09pm marty is only half blue

Tuesday, 13MAY08

02:12pm i could shred secret documents all day long... it's so relaxing

Wednesday, 14MAY08

10:55am wow the large iced coffee from mc d's is delicioius! if it wasn't for small towns i probably wouldn't have tried it

Wednesday, 14MAY08

11:24am sometimes the middle of nowhere smells like pee

Friday, 16MAY08

02:56pm all small towns have a subway and/or a pizza hut

Sunday, 18MAY08

10:20pm first speeding ticket today... yay! it was only a matter of time with this lead foot and all of these empty highways

Tuesday, 20MAY08

12:36pm i'm nearly positive i can make myself invisible. people are always parking next to my desk and having private converations

Tuesday, 20MAY08

12:37pm i know too much

Thursday, 22MAY08

03:08am blowing misty fog... yeah that makes it easier for me to deal with this bullshit @ 3am... i give u permission to pull the trigger

Thursday, 22MAY08

08:34am oh how fitting... Butthole Surfers - i hate my job on the radio

Monday, 26MAY08

01:17am technically i've already done my two weeks, but since i'm such a nice person... it is now officially two weeks until i'm jobless... hooray!

Monday, 26MAY08

10:55am it would be really nice if someone would have told me that i didn't have to be in the office today... oh well... i do have work to do.

Monday, 26MAY08

11:26am mmmm... just made a strong pot of coffee and watched web guy pour a cup, take a sip and grimace... ha ha ha... weak fool

Wednesday, 28MAY08

08:44pm reason #72 why i'm quitting - 5am phone calls with someone on the other end freaking out at me... not cool.

Wednesday, 28MAY08

07:33pm reason #12 why i'm quitting - having one person do the work of several people that have left is not an effective way of cutting costs.

Thursday, 29MAY08

02:07pm it's very rude when people walk by my desk and drop a bomb... the airflow in here sucks so odors tend to linger

Friday, 30MAY08

11:42am ha ha ha i was typing bob and accidentally typed boob ha ha ha i crack myself up

Wednesday, 04JUN08

04:32pm 2 more days... just 2 more days of this crap

Friday, 06JUN08

04:33pm ahh... freedom.

i just feel the need to share...

2008-12-12T19:41:00.002-07:00

warmandfuzzyfeeling.com

santasm.net

yeah, i'm not really sure why either.

awesomeness along with my opinion...

2008-12-05T13:58:00.004-07:00

This page is full of fun (and mostly useless) stuff.

www.gizmine.com

It's where I found this rad toy. I love to poke stuff anyway so of course it amuses me.

The poking box (Tuttiki Bako in Japanese)

These chips are amazingly delicious! With the Cilantro Lime coating, you don't even need salsa, but they should come with a warning. The aftertaste is atrocious and don't bother being in close proximity to anyone even if you've eaten just one.(brushing doesn't help) But they really are delicious so they're worth it as long as you plan accordingly.

Toasted Almond ice cream bars may sound weird but they're delicious! They taste like frozen marzipan covered with little bits of yummy almonds. They're really sweet, but I don't mind.

elfyourself.com

2008-12-04T12:00:00.004-07:00

boo... so i tried to insert these but it wasn't working out so you will just have to click the links... sorry.

they are hilarious!

the first is my favorite.

i laughed...

i cried...

they had this app last year, but it had a lot of tech issues. seems a lot easier now.

i found some weird stuff...

2008-12-01T14:08:00.003-07:00

so i did an image search for wundebar and a strange image appeared so i clicked... it brought me to a strange blog. it's all foreign so i have no idea what it's about but there are some interesting and disturbing images. i was first brought to 'marzo 2007' this page contains a few pictures of penis...fyi. i began browsing through the months and the same nazi-looking man with a funny mustache keeps appearing. this leads me to assume it is his blog. not being able to understand the writing allows me to view it as though it was an image. it's interesting how some words are different colors and sometimes appear to form shapes.

http://hugosolo.blogspot.com/

The Sailor Hat

after browsing i came to a conclusion... there is more preparation put into these images than it appears and i am scared of this man.

advertising

2008-11-22T21:27:00.001-07:00

my mom is beginning to sell stuff on ebay.

if you are curious... please check out her store.

http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/lynn4unow

thanks!

Game Over

2008-11-21T11:19:00.002-07:00

literally minutes ago i heard a weird noise coming from the kitchen. i ignored it at first thinking it was just the wind, but then i realized it was one of the humane traps. i have little Albert in a tall trash can so that we can take him to a field and release him this afternoon. i also put some crackers in there for him. as gross and annoying as he may be, he's still kinda cute.

the saga continues... Albert: The Smartest Mouse in the World... apparently

2008-11-21T09:27:00.006-07:00

Ok, so last week I had enough. The death traps were set and put into action. No one had seen or heard little Albert in a few days so I figured if he was still in the house he may have escaped from the kitchen so the barricade came down. There was no sense having it up if the prisoner was no longer trapped.

Oh, wait, I've left out some important events. A day or two after the last incident I was browsing through the pantry for something to eat. I turned around and there was Albert tip-toeing into the kitchen. I didn't scream this time and he quickly jumped into the cupboard under the sink. This was when I barricaded the kitchen. Quite a barricade too. April added a step ladder and chair that still gave us access in and out. I figured he would be easier to catch if he was trapped in a small space. Well, the humane traps just weren't working. He knew too much, so I freaked (yeah, kind of quite literally, but can you blame me. I was sick of living with a mouse). We finally picked up some real traps... the kind that kill. Immediately we set them, but unfortunately only two of the four functioned properly. This brings us to the few days later when I took the barricade down.

Well, we still haven't seen or heard from Albert, but last night I was checking the traps, as I do everyday and sometimes a few times a day and I noticed something fishy. The peanut butter was gone but the trapped was not tripped! WHAT THE HELL!? Trey thought it was funny and cheered on his little friend. I was furious and made an attempt to reload the traps but making it so the food could not be stolen this time. Well, it turns out that the one trap is actually broken. We are all convinced that Albert booby trapped our trap.

I am not amused. We are down to one killing trap and still have the two useless humane traps, but little Alby knows better than to touch those. This has seriously gone beyond ridiculous and I'm not ok with that.

on the top 5 favorite housemate list...

2008-11-16T14:48:00.003-07:00

Jackson Bennett has created his first album. Download Buoy @ jacksonbennett.net It's free but definitely worth more, so donate some green. It's an amazing album. Each song is so different yet they all have that fresh, honest and pure sound that flows together well. Fresh meaning it really doesn't sound like anything I've heard and pure meaning it's not tainted by the wrong influences. It's rare to find music like that these days. Most people make the music for the money not for the passion. I can hear the passion and it makes me happy. This is definitely Jackson's personal sound.

Check it out... even if it's not your style, it's definitely worth a listen.

Albert can jump... house mouse hunting continues

2008-11-10T09:10:00.003-07:00

Yesterday...

i was washing my hands in the bathroom and spotted little Alby out of the corner of my eye. he was nonchalantly sneaking out the door and my instinct was to scream. well the scream made him run and then jump into the linen cupboard. i pulled myself together and opened the door to the cupboard, but

the tp was in the way so i grabbed the giant pack and threw it into the hallway. then i peeked into the cupboard and there was little Albert, scarred to death in the corner. He looked so cute and since i had him trapped, i shut the door and got my camera.

after taking a few picts i grabbed the bucket and dustpan and managed to get Albert into the bucket. well then he freaked and started jumping which made me smack the dustpan on the top of the bucket but this didn't make him stop jumping. so i set the bucket down for a second to grab something to cover the top and that's when he escaped.

later that evening i was in the spare room moving some of my stuff upstairs and then vacuuming because i made a mess with some packaging foam. well the noise must have scarred Albert and out he came from behind some bins. i had the door shut so he tried to squeeze under but Albert has a large booty and couldn't get through. from the second i spotted the little guy i instantly started squealing and jumped onto the bed. then trey came to see what was going on and when he opened the door Albert charged which made trey squeal and slam the door shut. Albert then ran into the closet so trey came back into the room and as we tried to lull him out of the closet, Albert charged us once again and we both screamed. well, needless to say, little Alby is still living with us and turning us into the biggest pansies ever. and all this time april sits back and laughs at our ridiculous, but justified, behavior.

Albert... our intelligent house mouse

2008-11-08T21:54:00.004-07:00

the other night trey (bf/housemate) discovered a new guest scurrying about the house. (pictured mouse is merely what said mouse looks like, not actual mouse)

so immediately i want to kill it. yes, i'm a heartless bitch when a dirty rodent is living in my house without contributing. of course trey is all humanitarian and whatnot and want to leave it alone. we compromised by purchasing the humane trap that doesn't kill the mouse, just traps it inside. (i'm still skeptical wether this will work)anyway, we saw the little bugger run behind the bookcase so we each grabbed a bucket and made and attempt to trap it at either end. well... it startled me when it ran out my side so i jumped up and squealed and trey jumped up and squealed and while we were having our big gay squeal fest the mouse took off to the other side of the room for safety.

later in the evening we were watching some shows and trey spots the little guy sniffing the trap and then it ran back into the spare room. we sat there discussing the mouse for a bit and how i really doubt the trap will work and how smart this rascal appears to be and we decided to name him Albert. of course now that we have named him i can no longer kill him, but i already agreed not to when we bought what now appears to be nothing more than a mouse feeder.

mouse goes in, steps on lever where food lays and the door shuts.

sleeping is my favorite activity...

2008-11-04T10:08:00.002-07:00

this article is rather interesting. it taught me how to properly nap and explains that naps are actually beneficial for you health. sounds fantastic!

we got up early to vote first thing this morning. if you feel you are properly informed, i hope you are taking some time to go vote today. although if you are merely going to vote because you can... please don't.

update on that lost horse... incase you see one wandering around

2008-10-05T15:00:00.001-06:00

LOST: horse brn w/star.

D-P brand, li’l med. subdiv.

sw converse co. 9/27 may

be wearing saddle reward

307-267-5336

this may have been a dream...

2008-10-03T17:54:00.006-06:00

a deer with a huge rack is just wandering around a neighborhood in the middle of the day.
family's are tailgating (grill and all) for the high school football game
this was in the classifieds today: LOST: Horse, Chestnut with star. D-P brand on left hip. REWARD. Call 307-267-5336.
my phone stopped vibrating and then suddenly started up one night. now it has been randomly changing only april's name. i did think it may have been one of the housemates but last night i wasn't without my phone and had made april's name in the phone something that no one would know and suddenly this morning it was changed. my phone is possessed.

oh and i found this picture on my phone. i have no idea what it is, where it is, or why i took it.

1.800.2 cha cha

2008-09-20T18:33:00.002-06:00

This is how i have been spending the dull moments during my day...

Cha Cha is a free service that you can either call (1.800.2 cha cha) or text (242242), ask any question, and then they text you the answer. If you don't have a text plan then you will be charged for each text. Since recently i have become a texting fool i had to upgrade my text plan so that my phone bill wasn't out of control. I have unlimited texting so i abuse cha cha every chance i get.

here are some recent inquiries to Cha Cha...

me: tell me a dirty joke:
cha cha: Q: what's the speed limit of sex? A: 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

me: why are cowlicks called cowlicks?

cha cha: The reason for this expression is that the tuft looks as though a cow had licked it.

me: can you tell me a little about yourself?

cha cha: how nice of you to ask. i live north of Dallas TX. I am a stay at home mom with 2 great kiddos. hope you're having a great night!

me: do i get the same person every time i cha cha?

cha cha: no, cha cha is set up so that each question is routed to a trained Guide who is knowledgeable in that particular subject matter.

me: is the book Go Ask Alice a true story?

cha cha: it is not a true story. a bit crazy to be real.

because we thought this was funny...

2008-08-18T16:07:00.008-06:00

THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO SAY (or hear):

my babies daddy loves you
i think he's killed a few people but i still like him
what did we do last night?
someone peed in my bed
you're bad at sex
do you want me to help you wipe
well, at least he's not a felon
i think i got a little puke on my leg

not sure where this comes from... but it's hilarious

****also check out Bedouin Soundclash... radass band that's kind of a mixture of reggae, indie, and sometimes a little ska.

expand your music listening skills...

2008-08-03T12:39:00.002-06:00

check out this site... music.download.com

you can find all kinds of new music most of which is free to download and you can subscribe to their blog Crossfade and it has the free mp3 of the day... which i find awesome. i listen and if i like, now i can buy a new album. it's basically a huge highlight of my day... when i have an internet connection. btw that's part of the reason why i look like such a slacker. we are miserly and we're ok with that, so since our lame neighbors locked up their connection and the high school has been on summer break... we only have internet when we drive around town to find a connection somewhere. don't judge us.

anyway... i made this... nothing special but it's what i saw

charlie todd is basically awesome...

2008-07-03T22:03:00.003-06:00

207 people froze for 5 minutes at grand central station

improv at it's best... check out the site improveverywhere.com

RIP DAD

2008-06-26T22:33:00.001-06:00

22 OCT 1944 - 22 JUN 2008

You were hilarious and amazing!

this would be cool... for real

2008-06-15T20:52:00.000-06:00

Social experiment

2008-06-09T20:15:00.002-06:00

Girls with mustaches... It freaks people out

product reviews... because you might be interested...

2008-06-03T22:01:00.005-06:00

not bad... they come from the frozen section but say to store in the fridge. you can either pop them in the toaster or just eat straight from the fridge. well since mine were still frozen, it recommended that i microwave it or 30 seconds so that's what i did. it wasn't fantastic, but it is something easy and quick. the other flavors might be a bit tastier. i thought i would just go with the plain because sometimes those other flavors can be funky. at the store i bought these... *cough* wal-mart... they had strawberry and cinnamon... but apparently they also come in chive... sounds gross.

overall, could be good for a roadtrip not an everyday thing.

fake corn dogs!!! DELICIOUS!!! you can't even tell they're not made from meat. even the texture is perfect. i peeled some of the breading thinking maybe that was making the weird fake meat flavor, but it wasn't. the dog part tasted like a hot dog. i was kind of suspicious, so i read the ingredients again. no meat.

these are a definite must have in the freezer at all times!

23 JUNE 1982... it was a lovely day!

2008-05-25T12:15:00.004-06:00

so it's becoming a tradition...

MY DAY OF BIRTH CAMPING CELEBRATION!

for the past two years ~~i've~~ we've been going camping for my birthday and it's always lots of fun and super relaxing. it's usually just Many Penny and myself and my sister went the first year. i'm not into the whole crowd thing, but this year i've decided to invite anyone that wants to come do a little chillaxin with us.

there will be beer and cake and perhaps some fake hot dogs...

oh and fire and marshmallows and peace and quiet and a few days of doing absolutely nothing.

i plan on heading out friday the 20th (maybe saturday) and i'm not coming back to reality until the 24th.

here are picts from beginning...

[2006 - 24yrs - muddy mountain - it was cold]

[2007 - 25yrs - casper mountain - passed out by 1pm]

I'LL BE THERE...

WILL YOU?

driving with spiders

2008-05-20T00:31:00.002-06:00

back in the day... a bit over a year ago when i purchased Bullitt (the honda element... named after the steve mcqueen movie) i noticed a semi-invisible string thingy across the windshield. i flipped the switch to the windshield wiper and then realized it was inside the vehicle. i had a damn spider making all attempts to hold residence inside Bullitt. a few months went by and FINALLY me and the spider came face to face. i gave it a little flick and out the door it went, thinking that would be the end to my torture.

well, today the process began...again. i noticed the sticky string, flipped the switch to the wipers and of course (i wasn't surprised this time) it was on the inside. i've thought about setting off one of those bug bombs inside the vehicle, but geez... that's a bit drastic. and... ewwww!

i once tried to burn it out by turning the heat on full force at the red hot temperature, but later found out that did not work. so, until i see the spider crawling toward me with hopes that it can get just one juicy bite of my delicious flesh... i guess i'm driving with spiders.

exploring the human experience... one day at a time...

it snowed in PDX and we welcomed it like locals...

Excessive use of tear gas...

'It's go time:' Residents recount struggle with gunman during five-hour standoff Monday at Southeast Portland homeversion 2:Hostages during SERT action recount terrifying ordealif you feel compelled...

damn you butter!

yep...

so this happened...

We call it a Pronunciation Fail...

enough nonsense... Coffee Brewing Experimentation

defacing emily... it's not going to stop

spider emily... defacing continues

the AC was broken... I was to blame

Defacing Emily... it continues

My face in the hands of coworkers...

Jockamo decided his fame must flourish!

sometimes i think about the size of the internet and get really stressed out...

thanks for the cat butt mug.

oh, i guess i forgot... HOW COULD I FORGET!?

It's Portland... you know, the hippie mecca

Dear Camelbak: I love you and your outstanding customer service

junk post... but i must

to hell with poverty... we'll get drunk on cheap wine

goes well with a jamba...

3 shows, 3 nights, 3 completely different genres... all fantastic

get a haircut, hippie!

FOOD! This city has a plethora...

obvious foggot...

local amusement... part one

oh craigslist...

moving for nothing... weeee

sharing.... it's kind of like caring

...because asians are the coolest of the cool... yet again

They were shared with me, now I'm sharing with you...

wasting coffee is just rude

Sky Mall... you are so silly

eventually i'll post something with substance... for now enjoy another video

asians are the coolest of the cool...

whatever you do... don't participate

pure awesome... from me to you

hello ladies...and sirs

a gift to you... celebrate the month of love and stuff...

shameless promotion never hurt anyone...

Newbs...

2009: a look back at a conveniently fucked up year

i love Dunkin Donuts!!!

now hear this...

the japanese are silly...

housemate horrors...

one day my house will have awesome wallpaper like this...

sharing is caring...

2 notices within the month...

an afternoon with Nine Inch Nails...

semi-nerd stuff...

some valuable lessons i learned as a photography assistant:

basically awesome stuff that i felt was share worthy...

our toilet needs instructions... here they are

the night of beer pong with strangers

just incase...

tasty...

today's animal adventure...

take the tour...

it is officially official

True Tales of Scary Larry

Wyomedia Corporation

finally... it's what you've all been waiting for... right

i just feel the need to share...

awesomeness along with my opinion...

elfyourself.com

i found some weird stuff...

*advertising*

Game Over

the saga continues... Albert: The Smartest Mouse in the World... apparently

on the top 5 favorite housemate list...

Albert can jump... house mouse hunting continues

Albert... our intelligent house mouse

sleeping is my favorite activity...

update on that lost horse... incase you see one wandering around

this may have been a dream...

1.800.2 cha cha

because we thought this was funny...

'It's go time:' Residents recount struggle with gunman during five-hour standoff Monday at Southeast Portland home

version 2:
Hostages during SERT action recount terrifying ordeal

if you feel compelled...

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